what a freaking year.

A year ago I was in a bad place.  A dark place.  Finding it hard to see the light.  We were battling IF, we didn't know what we were dealing with.  I was trying to find hope but everywhere I turned things seemed to be falling apart.  Work was changing and sucked.  I felt unappreciated.  Every test was a BFN. My LP was short.  Even when we did everything right, we still couldn't get pregnant.  I shut down.  I didn't want to see people.  I cried at the drop of a hat.  I hope I never go back there again.

Jump to this NYE.  We are SO blessed.  Close to 27 weeks pregnant with twins.  A boy and a girl.  All that we could ever ask for.  A marriage that is STRONGER because of the trials we faced.  A husband I appreciate more and forgive any flaws because he is so strong and amazing and I would have fallen off the cliff if it wasn't for him this last year.  And not just through the IF- through all of that, my surgery, and now all the ups, downs, cravings, aches, worries-- you name it.  He's there.  Being kind and caring, supporting me; supporting each other.  And I know it's going to get harder before it gets better.  But MAN am I lucky.  With friends and family supporting us.  Could. Not. Be. More. Blessed.

So, may 2011 bring healthy babies, sleep by July, and may the challenges and stress once again bring us closer.  Here's to the coming best year so far!

okay, yes. I'm a slacker.

It's been a busy couple of weeks with the holiday and I have managed to not blog the last two weeks. Going to back-date some posts now...

26 weeks

What a week!  The contractions continued-- some days they'd happen a lot, and some days I would just get one.  Either way, they were freaking us out, as we were still deciding what we were going to do about traveling to see Mr. M's extended family for Christmas.  I called the office on Tuesday morning and was able to get them to work me in to just be checked since I had to come in for my GD test anyway on Wednesday.  I went in for the appointment, got my blood drawn, spent 20 minutes on the monitor (but not on babies-- they only have a singleton monitor) where I had no contractions, and got an internal check, where they assured me everything was fine.  I'm not crying wolf, I swear!  They were all really sweet about it-- I think a 10 hour drive makes sense to get checked out before. 

With that we decided to go ahead and drive.  After work on the 23rd (thank goodness I was working at home!) we packed, ran over to my parents' for an abbreviated Christmas celebration (bummer!) and left by 8:30 to get a start on the drive.  We stopped around 11, stayed in a hotel, and finished the drive on the 24th.  We had a great time with Mr. M's family, and they threw us a beautiful shower!  We are so very blessed to have such caring, kind and generous family and friends.

Overall, babies did well with the trip.  I had some contractions- more when I was pushing it, but I was able to sit/lay down when I needed to which was wonderful.  I did end up with some major swelling when I did too much on Christmas day, but I've gotten it under better control.  I finally am getting more kicks from B (yay!) but both babies made it hard to have my MIL and SILs feel them.  My MIL did get a kick, and from A, and one of my SILs was able to feel an elbow (or knee? we think?) near my belly button. :) It's amazing how much bigger they're getting.

Merry Christmas, sweet babies!  Can't wait to celebrate with you on the outside next year :)

25 weeks!

What a busy week.  Full of.... contractions!  Still trying to figure out if we're going to travel for the holidays, and the stress is getting to me.  I'm not flying- that we've decided for sure. 

We spent this weekend doing pre-Christmas celebration.  All of Mr. M's siblings came in town and we spent a lot of time with them opening gifts, eating cookies, and making gingerbread houses.  We also spent some time with my extended family for our Christmas celebration.  It's so wonderful seeing everyone and their excitement over the babies!  I have a feeling we're going to have a crowded house after these kids are born... the good news is it will all be short visits. :)

Work is getting harder-- I'm so ready for a break.  It's going to be nice to not have to work for several days.  I feel bigger and bigger by the minute...

24 weeks means... VIABILITY!

24 is one of those milestones I was waiting and waiting for.  And today it's here!  If babies came today, there would be a chance they would survive (with lots of NICU love).  We hope and pray that they don't get any thoughts of vacating any time soon, but it's nice to know that if they did, there would be a shot at life.

This past week was crazy... I had a lot to do at work Mon-Wed and it seriously wore me out.  This week, I also started getting contractions and swelling... yikes!  It was no more than one contraction per day, and wasn't painful, but I could feel my stomach/uterus tighten up and get hard, and my heart would race.  I had my appointment on Thursday, so they checked my urine for protein, cervix by u/s and internal, and luckily everything is okay.  Braxton Hicks it is. :)  It's a big reminder that I need to sit down, put my feet up and stop running around so much.

Babies looked great in our u/s- still girl/boy, weighing an estimated 1 lb 5 oz and 1 lb 6 oz respectively.  Both had heartbeats in the 150s, and were wiggling around.  We got another great shot of A, and B decided this time to have his legs over his head, so only good 2d profile shots.  Oh well. :)  Those weights are still good, but I have to admit that I haven't been packing the protein as much as I should.  Lately nothing sounds good, and I have to make myself eat.  I know I'm supposed to be really hungry all the time, but I'm just not.  I'm hoping this week I can get back into the habit of breakfast - snack - lunch - snack - dinner. 

This weekend we also accomplished all of our Christmas shopping in 2 hours! lights are up outside, presents are wrapped and Christmas cards are addressed.  This coming week is going to be crazy... between work, Christmas parties and a packed-full weekend I don't know that we'll get much rest. 

23 weeks

One week to viability!  Babies, don't get any ideas.  You'd better stay put for a good 13 weeks, if not more. :)

This week was a busy one, and we finally accomplished several things:

• Finished our registries! I still need to figure out the whole monitor situation, but feeling pretty good about that
• Got cribs that weren't broken! WOOT!
• Put the cribs together.  Well, Mr. M did that, but we have cribs!
• Found material that will work for the curtains. in the form of clearance shower curtains from Target! :)  Now I need blackout fabric and to get to sewing... that may not happen until after Christmas
• Got the bookshelf for the nursery from my parents' house.
• Got more clothes for FREE with Kohls cash and a coupon. I think we're pretty set when it comes to clothes, since I bet we'll get some at our showers and after they're born as well
• Registered for a breastfeeding and childbirth class after people at work convinced me we needed to do that

We also have lots coming up.  Our next appointment is Friday and I CANNOT WAIT!  We've been with the NP the last two times, and I'm ready to see our Dr. again.  That also means I can schedule the rest of our appointments, which will be wonderful.   Next week also starts a mad rush of holiday craziness.  Thank goodness the decorating is done, and Mr. M will put up the lights on TuesdayLuckily this weekend was pretty chill, and next weekend is free too, but this week and next I have busy weeks at work (including an interview...!) and the holidays are going to sneak up on us fast.  I haven't even done my holiday shopping yet! (Due in part to slacker family members who need to send their lists)  Starting in January, I'm going on lockdown.  I'm doing NOTHING.  Today a quick run to Kohl's and the grocery store for the basics was too much for me.  I wear down so easily now.  And it's critical that I relax-- these babies don't need any stress, and my body has to hold out for quite a while longer.  The good news is that last night when I was super worn out (from doing very little) I took my blood pressure, worried about what was going on and it was 102/50.  I can handle that!  Fingers crossed that Friday is a good appointment!