Monday, December 21, 2009

wonderful weekend

This past weekend was wonderful. We're not making the 9 hour trek to see Mr. M's extended family this year, so all of his siblings came in town last weekend for our immediate family Christmas. We had a great time eating, building gingerbread houses, and watching football. This week almost seems like a wash at work b/c we're so close to Christmas. Can't wait for my break from work and a bit of relaxing!

BTW, it's awesome to be in the 2ww over the holidays b/c you're too preoccupied to focus on it too much. That or hitting the 6-month mark means the 2ww is now a routine...

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

"life does not put in front of us things that we cannot handle"

I love quotes. Especially that one. Because really, though we all end up going through some SHIT sometimes, we can do it. We just have to have hope that we can do it.

And so. Work is better. Thank the dear lord, because I was about to loose my shit. One of my coworkers said it best earlier this year: "I can handle if personal stuff is bad as long as work is okay, and I can handle work being bad as long as personal stuff is fine. But if they're both bad, it all goes to hell." So, for today, work is okay.

But personal stuff just took another shot to hell. Earlier this year, I had a big health scare and have been left with some residual health problems, but all is okay. Then the unsuccessful TTC, which really, we're only in our 6th month of so I can't really go crazy about that yet. But still a big frickin bummer when you get to Christmas where you thought you'd have a belly and not be drinking and getting gifts of bibs and sleepers and talking about next year being the baby's first Christmas. And you're not pregnant. Blah. And then, this week, we find out that Mr. M has a decently serious medical condition. Oh yeah, and the meds he was prescribed cause temporary IF. So if we want to TTC, he can't take them. So after a long conversation, he decides that he wants to TTC, so now he has to work his ASS off to get healthy without meds.

2009 has sucked. I can't wait for a fresh start in 2010. SERIOUSLY. I.CAN.NOT.WAIT.
BUT. I still need to remember that life does not put in front of us things we cannot handle. WE CAN DO THIS. We WILL do this. And we will be thankful for what we do have. Because living life being all pissed off all the time is no fun. And it will make us stronger. And we WILL have a child someday, however that happens, and we will do what we can to make him healthy, and we will enjoy each and every moment we have, because how blessed we are to be alive and have found each other.

So there.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

a whirlwind in bullets

  • I love the Christmas season. Like, a LOT. I always look forward to it. Yet, this time around I'm not feeling it.
  • We've been out of town the last two weekends. It was fun, but exhausting. This time of year, travel is a bitch.
  • Especially when the biggest snowstorm of the year hits and you have a 25 minute layover in Denver. That's a recipe for disaster (luckily averted!) and a sprint through the airport.
  • I'm so over work right now. I am so SICK of doing the job of two people.
  • We're on to month 6. We keep trying to focus on hope, but it's so hard.
  • I'm so very thankful for my life. As much as I'm discontent and wishing for a change (job getting better, time to relax, A BABY), we're incredibly blessed. And I'm trying to remind myself of that often... but it's hard.
  • Holidays are even harder when you want to be pregnant.
  • I want to be happy.
  • Usually I'm a big old ball of crafty goodness over the holidays. I'm a cookie baking machine. But this year, don't know if I'll have time.
  • Our tree has been up since mid november.... and it's still not decorated. oops.
  • ugggghhhh.