So, yesterday was CD1. A disappointing day, at best, most months. But I actually held it together yesterday. I don't know if it's the next test coming up giving me hope, or what, but I'm trying to think on the bright side. Well, that and the dropping temps and cramps for the last week tipped me off. :)
I think what really helped is that yesterday was when we decided to celebrate my upcoming birthday. It's the big 2-8. Normally birthdays don't phase me. Heck, half the time, I can't even remember how old I am. But that is my "have babies" age. I know that's silly. For some reason (I'm a planner) in my head, 25 was always my "get married" age (actually got married at 24) and 28 sounded perfect to start a family... and we have 4 more months to make that a reality. Yikes. It's not that I'm stuck on that age, it's just another one of those milestones that make you think "hmmm... how much longer is this going to take!" Kind of like hitting month 10 and thinking "if things had worked on the first try, we could be having a kid any minute." I'm trying not to dwell on these things, and I'm sure everyone else (who hasn't been through this) thinks it's a lot of negative thinking, but you can't help but notice those milestones.
So- with all of that, why did yesterday help? I had an AMAZING romantic dinner with my husband, and then a decadent dessert at a chocolate bar. And it was nice to just go out on the town and have some fun. Just the two of us. And the 8-hr tyl*enol and couple glasses of wine didn't hurt either. My husband is AWESOME. :)
Today is also Easter. And it's making me also think of my trip to Target on Friday, seeing lots of moms pick up Easter basket goodies for their kids. And hoping that next year, I'm doing the same thing.