This is the date I've been dreaming of since the beginning. I just kept praying "PLEASE let us make it to 36!!!" And we're here. WOW.
I'm still freaking out-- they could come any time now. I really really want them to wait until next week (HOLY CRAP!!!!!). I'm seriously having lots of moments of panic about it. I'm huge, I still itch (thank you PUPPPs), I'm exhausted, and I feel like an incubator. And it would make the most sense, after all we went through, after the frustration and tears and praying for these little miracles, for me to be SO excited to meet them. But rather than be excited, I'm scared. I'm really hoping that the minute we see them, that will all change. It feels so unnatural to feel this way.
I think part of the problem is not believing it's real. We fought and wanted this, and then it was surreal to find out we were pregnant. And then that it was twins. And then I worried and planned and was concerned about every moment, hoping they were growing enough, that they were still healthy, that my body would hold out, that I wouldn't have to be pulled out of work early, that they wouldn't come before 36 weeks. And that's all been fine. But I think it's also made me scared to get too attached. There's always something that could happen, and I still can't believe it's true. How horrible is that. I've been holding back from connecting with these babies because I'm scared.
My prayers now are that they wait until their scheduled c-section, and that the moment I see them, I feel connected. I feel so unmotherly. Who feels like this???
This week has been calm and uneventful, other than the stuff I mentioned in the last post. On bedrest, and resting a lot. Lots of laying down, showers to stop the itching, and trying to relax. This weekend I tried to rest too. All of the little things are too much now, though. Friday we went to my parents' house to celebrate my future SIL's birthday, and I was wiped out. Wearing jeans is exhausting now! Yesterday, we went to Target to get a few things that I couldn't just tell Mr. M to get (I had to pick out) and that was taxing. I really swear I'm done with going out other than to doctors appointments.
Today, B has been really quiet. I'm not sure if it's positioning, or just a quiet day. We even broke out the doppler to check, and got his HB right away, so I'm sure he's fine, but A has been moving up a storm. I have felt him move some, but not with the vigor that has been normal lately. I'm glad we have an appointment tomorrow and a NST/fluid check on Tuesday. I don't know what I would do if we didn't have all of this at the end-- I need the reassurance that they're doing okay.
Thinking good thoughts for the rest of the week, and hoping I don't write the words "they're here!" until some time in week 37!
Showing posts with label thankful.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thankful.. Show all posts
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
34w2d - NST and fluid check
Today was our first appt. at the perinatal center at the hospital. I had a NST (just the contractions part) before Christmas, so I knew what to expect. A kept wiggling off the monitor, but both A and B did great. For our ultrasound, we didn't get any fun peeks at anything else (bummer! I really really wanted a growth u/s!) but fluid looks okay. She found the membrane that separates them and measured there. A was 2.something and B had 4.something. She said bigger than 2 was good; that A was very active and that if she kept looking around she thought she might have a higher reading. She didn't seem concerned about the difference. A is breech, tush way down (people at work said they thought I'd dropped and the nurse kept emphasizing that she was "WAY down"), and B is vertex, like the sweet little boy he is. We also saw on the u/s that B has hair! Fun! I would totally bet that it's a head of dark brown/black hair like Mr. M. :) Mr. M was with me by the way, and I was so glad to have him there. I've been riding the roller coaster again and last night was rough, so the support was much apprecitated.
Hang in there little guys- we have a growth u/s Monday YAAAAAAY and another perinatal appt on Tuesday. Can't wait to see and hear them again.
Hang in there little guys- we have a growth u/s Monday YAAAAAAY and another perinatal appt on Tuesday. Can't wait to see and hear them again.
Monday, February 21, 2011
34 weeks
And boy can I feel it!
Yet another major milestone. If babies come between 34-37 weeks, they may need NICU time, but it is VERY likely that they would be able to leave with no lasting health problems. WOOT! Don't get any ideas, guys!!
We had our appointment this week and their hearts sounded great. 34 weeks brings the first NST and fluid check- we're going to the hospital to have that done tomorrow. I am SO ready to be done working. My life is now just pure exhaustion all the time. The itching is getting better with continued cocoa buttering and I'm trying hard not to scratch. More and more I can look down and see my belly in funny shapes thanks to little sweeties pushing on the sides. This weekend we also had the grandmas come over to talk about daycare, and it sounds like we're all on the same page. Another big highlight of the week is that we ordered a new mattress. YAY! I just can't take the old one anymore. Sleeping has become one of the most painful experiences for me. Between hip pain, pelvic pain when I get up to go to the bathroom, and heartburn, the nights don't hold much rest for me. I'm hoping the new mattress will help a bit. But even if it doesn't you guys are worth it-- don't come out early to make me feel better!!
I also can't do anything anymore-- I'm so very exhausted that the thought of cooking something for lunch breaks me down. I feel so useless. I have such an AMAZING husband who is fully capable of taking care of it all-- I have no idea how I would make it through all of this without him. SO truly blessed. And man, if I'm going to raise twins with anyone, I'm glad it's him. :)
Feeling so thrilled and blessed to even be able to write about week 34! Starting to get nervous about everything though... being awake for surgery, praying that all three of us come out healthy. Realizing that not too long from now we will actually have two babies... It's a total roller coaster. One minute I'm so excited and the next I'm freaking out. I keep telling myself that the whole reason I chose a c-section is because there are less what-ifs for the babies and they can just get them out safely, and that we've chosen a hospital that does c-sections and deals with multiples all day every day, so these people are pros. Hoping to write about 35 very soon!
Yet another major milestone. If babies come between 34-37 weeks, they may need NICU time, but it is VERY likely that they would be able to leave with no lasting health problems. WOOT! Don't get any ideas, guys!!
We had our appointment this week and their hearts sounded great. 34 weeks brings the first NST and fluid check- we're going to the hospital to have that done tomorrow. I am SO ready to be done working. My life is now just pure exhaustion all the time. The itching is getting better with continued cocoa buttering and I'm trying hard not to scratch. More and more I can look down and see my belly in funny shapes thanks to little sweeties pushing on the sides. This weekend we also had the grandmas come over to talk about daycare, and it sounds like we're all on the same page. Another big highlight of the week is that we ordered a new mattress. YAY! I just can't take the old one anymore. Sleeping has become one of the most painful experiences for me. Between hip pain, pelvic pain when I get up to go to the bathroom, and heartburn, the nights don't hold much rest for me. I'm hoping the new mattress will help a bit. But even if it doesn't you guys are worth it-- don't come out early to make me feel better!!
I also can't do anything anymore-- I'm so very exhausted that the thought of cooking something for lunch breaks me down. I feel so useless. I have such an AMAZING husband who is fully capable of taking care of it all-- I have no idea how I would make it through all of this without him. SO truly blessed. And man, if I'm going to raise twins with anyone, I'm glad it's him. :)
Feeling so thrilled and blessed to even be able to write about week 34! Starting to get nervous about everything though... being awake for surgery, praying that all three of us come out healthy. Realizing that not too long from now we will actually have two babies... It's a total roller coaster. One minute I'm so excited and the next I'm freaking out. I keep telling myself that the whole reason I chose a c-section is because there are less what-ifs for the babies and they can just get them out safely, and that we've chosen a hospital that does c-sections and deals with multiples all day every day, so these people are pros. Hoping to write about 35 very soon!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
33 weeks (I'm becoming a slacker)
I didn't even realize that I didn't do a 33 week post until today. Yikes. I'm hitting that point of exhaustion where everything besides rest falls apart. Ugh.
Feeling good about 33- one more to 34, and in my head that's a big milestone. The next one is 36-- I will be ELATED if these babies keep cooking until then.
Last weekend was good- we went out for a very nice dinner for Valentine's day (maybe our last big date?) and I got to rest quite a bit. We (and by we, I mean Mr. M) installed the carseats and got them inspected, where we were told they were perfect. :) I still need to pack a hospital bag, and I think I've been putting it off because it means that this is really going to happen.
Pregnancy-wise, I can feel the babies move more and more, and it's funny to look down at my belly throughout the day-- there are lumps and bumps everywhere as they're packed in there tightly. I would love to know how much they weigh now. I'm hoping it's a good 4lbs+ (for real, not estimated since that's sometimes off). This past week also brought the end of my wedding rings-- my fingers are just too fat now. I'm feeling hiccups, which is hilarious. Working from home is my saving grace-- going to work is HARD. I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to make it. I'm so very thankful, however that I've been able to make it this far without bedrest. That's AMAZING. Now I'm just trying hard not to push it so we can make it those last few weeks. My body is starting to reach its limit-- my pelvic bone feels like it's snapped in half, and my poor stretch-marked belly itches horribly. I'm about to loose my belly button. I actually told Mr. M the other day that c-section recovery might not be so bad compared to the stuff I have going on right now. We'll see about that, but this is pretty painful.
I can do this. I can push through anything to help these little guys cook a little longer and hopefully avoid NICU time. It's going to suck, but they are so, SO very worth it.
Stay put, little ones. You're not allowed to come before March. ;)
Feeling good about 33- one more to 34, and in my head that's a big milestone. The next one is 36-- I will be ELATED if these babies keep cooking until then.
Last weekend was good- we went out for a very nice dinner for Valentine's day (maybe our last big date?) and I got to rest quite a bit. We (and by we, I mean Mr. M) installed the carseats and got them inspected, where we were told they were perfect. :) I still need to pack a hospital bag, and I think I've been putting it off because it means that this is really going to happen.
Pregnancy-wise, I can feel the babies move more and more, and it's funny to look down at my belly throughout the day-- there are lumps and bumps everywhere as they're packed in there tightly. I would love to know how much they weigh now. I'm hoping it's a good 4lbs+ (for real, not estimated since that's sometimes off). This past week also brought the end of my wedding rings-- my fingers are just too fat now. I'm feeling hiccups, which is hilarious. Working from home is my saving grace-- going to work is HARD. I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to make it. I'm so very thankful, however that I've been able to make it this far without bedrest. That's AMAZING. Now I'm just trying hard not to push it so we can make it those last few weeks. My body is starting to reach its limit-- my pelvic bone feels like it's snapped in half, and my poor stretch-marked belly itches horribly. I'm about to loose my belly button. I actually told Mr. M the other day that c-section recovery might not be so bad compared to the stuff I have going on right now. We'll see about that, but this is pretty painful.
I can do this. I can push through anything to help these little guys cook a little longer and hopefully avoid NICU time. It's going to suck, but they are so, SO very worth it.
Stay put, little ones. You're not allowed to come before March. ;)
Monday, February 7, 2011
32!!
Another milestone! This week was crazy, with the prediction of "snowmageddon," preparing to be snowed in for a few days, and then... barely anything. Except lots of ice. But it made the whole work from home thing less weird, since everyone else was too. :)
After our doctor's appointment, we hunkered down for the storm, and really that's how we spent most of our week. The difference it makes to work from home is HUGE-- most days now at work my role has been altered enough that I can spend most of my day at my desk, with my feet up. That said, most days I still come home big and swollen and ready to pass out. The days I worked from home I was way less swollen and sore and didn't feel like I had to go to bed at 5:00. I really think this change is going to make a big difference in how long I make it working as well as how long these babies stay in.
I'm trying to savor every minute of these sweet little ones in my tummy, even though my body feels like it's ready to fall apart. I was telling Mr. M that I'm really going to miss these guys being inside-- it's just so amazing to feel their little kicks and nudges and to be able to reach down at any time and feel them moving or give them a little pat. I really really hope that we're able to have more after these two-- while I spend a lot of the day in pain and wish I was more comfortable, I do love being pregnant, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. We are so very blessed and I would love to do this again. And as much as I have moments of breaking down and falling apart with what is going on with my body, I do not want these two going ANYWHERE for at least four more weeks. Better yet, let's make it to their scheduled C.
This weekend we stayed busy-- we went to see friends who have twins on Friday night, and it felt good to see them and also pick their brains about twin stuff and her c-section. Saturday was low-key, and Sunday we had other friends over with their two girls for the superbowl. We had so much fun, but that also helped us see all of the places where our house is NOT baby proof. yikes!
This week is busy... Here we go!
After our doctor's appointment, we hunkered down for the storm, and really that's how we spent most of our week. The difference it makes to work from home is HUGE-- most days now at work my role has been altered enough that I can spend most of my day at my desk, with my feet up. That said, most days I still come home big and swollen and ready to pass out. The days I worked from home I was way less swollen and sore and didn't feel like I had to go to bed at 5:00. I really think this change is going to make a big difference in how long I make it working as well as how long these babies stay in.
I'm trying to savor every minute of these sweet little ones in my tummy, even though my body feels like it's ready to fall apart. I was telling Mr. M that I'm really going to miss these guys being inside-- it's just so amazing to feel their little kicks and nudges and to be able to reach down at any time and feel them moving or give them a little pat. I really really hope that we're able to have more after these two-- while I spend a lot of the day in pain and wish I was more comfortable, I do love being pregnant, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. We are so very blessed and I would love to do this again. And as much as I have moments of breaking down and falling apart with what is going on with my body, I do not want these two going ANYWHERE for at least four more weeks. Better yet, let's make it to their scheduled C.
This weekend we stayed busy-- we went to see friends who have twins on Friday night, and it felt good to see them and also pick their brains about twin stuff and her c-section. Saturday was low-key, and Sunday we had other friends over with their two girls for the superbowl. We had so much fun, but that also helped us see all of the places where our house is NOT baby proof. yikes!
This week is busy... Here we go!
Monday, January 17, 2011
29 weeks!
(a day late, but it's been busy...)
Seeing each week go by is crazy. This week we were BUSY. We went to our first baby class last Sunday- Newborn Care. Monday was a busy day at work, and then we went to our first Childbirth class. They were predicting 3-4 inches of snow that night, so we were all a little anxious to make sure we didn't get snowed in at the hospital, but it held off. It was a good first class-- just introductory stuff and understanding when labor actually starts, etc. It was great to get started on that. It's occurred to me this last week that this is real. These babies are going to come out at some point (hopefully not for at least 7 more weeks!) and then we're going to have two babies. Like, for real. Crazy.
I've been trying to savor the pregnant moments more. That's really hard with being stressed out about work, generally exhausted, and feeling like we have a million more things to do before these kids show up. It's ever-present in my mind that this might be it for us. I REALLY hope it's not, but you can't discount the fact that it was hard to get knocked up in the first place, my right tube is probably going to get worse the longer we wait after these two (thanks, Endo) and well... who knows. And if this is it, then so be it. We're blessed to be expecting two little ones. I really can't complain. But I feel like this isn't enough. I would love, love, love to be able to do this again.
This week we also had our hospital tour, which was great, but the room they take you to before a c-section freaks me out. It's very sterile looking... I'm going to have to get over it though. :) I'm leaning more and more towards a c-section... less what-ifs, more hospital time, more paid time off work... it's hard to say no to all of that. Too bad it takes having major surgery to have all of those things. We'll see how it turns out. I'd better still pay attention in the childbirth class just in case... :)
The weight of these babies (or really, all the other stuff that comes with them, since their~6 lbs total doesn't really matter much) is really starting to take a toll. I'm so very tired all the time. Friday was a rough day at work-- I hit a wall around 1 and was starting to swell quite a bit. I made it until 3:30 or so, and then had to go home and lay down. My body just can't do it all any more. My mental plan now is to make it normally until the end of January, then work from home 2-3 days a week in February, then bed rest as soon as we hit March. I hope I can make it on that. I don't want to overdo things and risk going into labor early, but I also can't afford to go on full bed rest yet. Although given the option financially, I'd be all over it.
This week we also tried playing music for the babies for the first time. A really loved the Glee songs/rock, and B liked classical music. Or hated. I'm not sure whether the kicks and jabs were "MOM and DAD! Make it stop!!!" or not.
Our second shower was on Sunday, and was amazing. We had 30+ people there, and were seriously showered with our gifts. We're in such good shape! There are several things we still need, so I'm hoping we can get some of that going this week so we're close to set up. This week is also pack the hospital bag week. I think once we have all of the stuff we need sorted, washed, set up, etc. I'll be able to just relax.
One of the best parts of our shower though was telling our immediate family that we're expecting a boy and a girl! We hadn't shared that yet with anyone, and didn't want to before the showers, but my mom and sister have been giving us crap since we got pregnant about finding out and telling. We didn't mention that we've known for quite a while now... they might kill us if they knew that! After everyone left, we got everyone (only missing Mr. M's dad- we couldn't figure out how we could get him over there without it being totally obvious, and his brother who lives in another state) together and said we had hostess gifts for my mom and sister, and one for his mom since she did a lot for our shower over Christmas. I kind of had to ruin the surprise a bit since I had two aunts who would.not.leave. and so I had to tell my SIL that she had to keep her mom from leaving until they were gone, and then had to ask my mom when they were leaving because I had gifts and didn't want to do that while they were there. Oh well. Whatever. We got them each bibs, one pink and one blue, saying "I love my Grandma" or "I love my Grandpa" (and Aunt for my sister) with little cards attached that said "love, baby A" and "love, baby B." I got the whole thing on video- they were all thrilled and the aunts were all so very excited that they "could really go shopping now!" It was a fun moment to be able to share with our families.
When we got home, Mr. M and my sister unloaded the cars (it took two small SUVs to get all of our stuff home!) and while I really should have been sitting and relaxing, it was killing me to not be organizing stuff. SO, I did. I also took breaks to sit down every once in a while, but it was nice to get things going. I also have done a lot of the baby laundry, which makes me feel better too. Even if this stuff sits for 8 more weeks (yikes! That's all we have until my scheduled date!) I'd rather have that happen than come home from the hospital to lots to do.
Today we have off of work, and have a doctor's appt. as well as our next Childbirth class, and lots to do! Looking forward to saying 30 weeks next Sunday! That's a great milestone!
Seeing each week go by is crazy. This week we were BUSY. We went to our first baby class last Sunday- Newborn Care. Monday was a busy day at work, and then we went to our first Childbirth class. They were predicting 3-4 inches of snow that night, so we were all a little anxious to make sure we didn't get snowed in at the hospital, but it held off. It was a good first class-- just introductory stuff and understanding when labor actually starts, etc. It was great to get started on that. It's occurred to me this last week that this is real. These babies are going to come out at some point (hopefully not for at least 7 more weeks!) and then we're going to have two babies. Like, for real. Crazy.
I've been trying to savor the pregnant moments more. That's really hard with being stressed out about work, generally exhausted, and feeling like we have a million more things to do before these kids show up. It's ever-present in my mind that this might be it for us. I REALLY hope it's not, but you can't discount the fact that it was hard to get knocked up in the first place, my right tube is probably going to get worse the longer we wait after these two (thanks, Endo) and well... who knows. And if this is it, then so be it. We're blessed to be expecting two little ones. I really can't complain. But I feel like this isn't enough. I would love, love, love to be able to do this again.
This week we also had our hospital tour, which was great, but the room they take you to before a c-section freaks me out. It's very sterile looking... I'm going to have to get over it though. :) I'm leaning more and more towards a c-section... less what-ifs, more hospital time, more paid time off work... it's hard to say no to all of that. Too bad it takes having major surgery to have all of those things. We'll see how it turns out. I'd better still pay attention in the childbirth class just in case... :)
The weight of these babies (or really, all the other stuff that comes with them, since their~6 lbs total doesn't really matter much) is really starting to take a toll. I'm so very tired all the time. Friday was a rough day at work-- I hit a wall around 1 and was starting to swell quite a bit. I made it until 3:30 or so, and then had to go home and lay down. My body just can't do it all any more. My mental plan now is to make it normally until the end of January, then work from home 2-3 days a week in February, then bed rest as soon as we hit March. I hope I can make it on that. I don't want to overdo things and risk going into labor early, but I also can't afford to go on full bed rest yet. Although given the option financially, I'd be all over it.
This week we also tried playing music for the babies for the first time. A really loved the Glee songs/rock, and B liked classical music. Or hated. I'm not sure whether the kicks and jabs were "MOM and DAD! Make it stop!!!" or not.
Our second shower was on Sunday, and was amazing. We had 30+ people there, and were seriously showered with our gifts. We're in such good shape! There are several things we still need, so I'm hoping we can get some of that going this week so we're close to set up. This week is also pack the hospital bag week. I think once we have all of the stuff we need sorted, washed, set up, etc. I'll be able to just relax.
One of the best parts of our shower though was telling our immediate family that we're expecting a boy and a girl! We hadn't shared that yet with anyone, and didn't want to before the showers, but my mom and sister have been giving us crap since we got pregnant about finding out and telling. We didn't mention that we've known for quite a while now... they might kill us if they knew that! After everyone left, we got everyone (only missing Mr. M's dad- we couldn't figure out how we could get him over there without it being totally obvious, and his brother who lives in another state) together and said we had hostess gifts for my mom and sister, and one for his mom since she did a lot for our shower over Christmas. I kind of had to ruin the surprise a bit since I had two aunts who would.not.leave. and so I had to tell my SIL that she had to keep her mom from leaving until they were gone, and then had to ask my mom when they were leaving because I had gifts and didn't want to do that while they were there. Oh well. Whatever. We got them each bibs, one pink and one blue, saying "I love my Grandma" or "I love my Grandpa" (and Aunt for my sister) with little cards attached that said "love, baby A" and "love, baby B." I got the whole thing on video- they were all thrilled and the aunts were all so very excited that they "could really go shopping now!" It was a fun moment to be able to share with our families.
When we got home, Mr. M and my sister unloaded the cars (it took two small SUVs to get all of our stuff home!) and while I really should have been sitting and relaxing, it was killing me to not be organizing stuff. SO, I did. I also took breaks to sit down every once in a while, but it was nice to get things going. I also have done a lot of the baby laundry, which makes me feel better too. Even if this stuff sits for 8 more weeks (yikes! That's all we have until my scheduled date!) I'd rather have that happen than come home from the hospital to lots to do.
Today we have off of work, and have a doctor's appt. as well as our next Childbirth class, and lots to do! Looking forward to saying 30 weeks next Sunday! That's a great milestone!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
28 weeks!
Another milestone!
This last week has been a busy one! Tons going on a work, which resulted in mega ankle swelling. Like cankles. Seriously. Monday we had our Dr's appt, and that made us feel tons better. Had an u/s- both look good. 2lb3oz and 2lb4oz respectively, heartbeats in the 150s. Got to talk through some birth questions we had, which was well worth the long wait we had for this appointment.
The only thing that made me think twice was during the u/s the tech said something about wanting to confirm that A is a girl again. She's said it at at least 3 appts, our last appt. at the other hospital confirmed it (and we have a three line picture), but she tried to look again and no dice. SO, I'm sure little A is a girl, but I came home and checked every u/s picture we have. :) The really good one she got a few appts ago we don't have a copy of, but I remember seeing the three lines on that one too. The reason it freaks me out a little is that we're about to tell our mothers/family at my shower next weekend what we're having. And if we say one of each, and then switch after, they might be disappointed. Not that they wouldn't love two boys too, but it's easier if we're still the only ones that know. Whatever. It will be fine. :)
The biggest news from our appointment: babies now have an eviction date! If they don't show up before then, they'll be making an appearance on March 16th. :) She called it a scheduled c-section date, but she's also talked induction in the past, so if they're positioned correctly I'm sure that's an option too.
So after a long week, we relaxed and did stuff around the house mostly this weekend, except for today, when we had our first class: Newborn Care! Mr. M seemed a little stressed/worried this last week about everything becoming real with the babies coming not all that long from now (officially less than 10 weeks!), but he said that the class today really helped. I think the more we learn about what we're supposed to be doing, the better we both feel. I'm sure we'll be just fine, but like he said, not knowing what you don't know can be the worst part of all, so after the class, we felt a lot better.
This coming week we have the start of our childbirth class and hospital tour. We got to see the babies in the nursery today, and they were adorable! I think getting pretty familiar with the hospital will be good too-- hospitals are uncomfortable places for both of us, so hanging out where we'll deliver will probably desensitize us a bit (I hope!).
This week also brought more movement from both babies! YAY! B has been wiggling more, and I just love feeling him move. Not that I don't love A too, but she moves all the time :) They're also big enough now that I can see my tummy move when they kick/punch, and when I get up from laying on a side, it's not uncommon to see a baby head/tush poking out somewhere! B isn't such a fan of me laying on my right side, and when I do he scoots towards the middle, so when I get up, there is typically a little head poking up in the middle of my tummy and empty room on the right. When I sit up, it's fun to feel as he slowly moves back down and to the right. I still have tons of pelvic pain when I stand up, roll over, etc. but am feeling great about where I'm at. To be 28 weeks with twins and not be on bedrest is a miracle, and we're thankful every day that my body and the babies hold up. Stay safe in there little guys! There's no way I would be doing this well if it wasn't for my wonderful husband who cleans, carries things, does laundry and chores, and encourages me to drink water and lay down. He's amazing. :)
This last week has been a busy one! Tons going on a work, which resulted in mega ankle swelling. Like cankles. Seriously. Monday we had our Dr's appt, and that made us feel tons better. Had an u/s- both look good. 2lb3oz and 2lb4oz respectively, heartbeats in the 150s. Got to talk through some birth questions we had, which was well worth the long wait we had for this appointment.
The only thing that made me think twice was during the u/s the tech said something about wanting to confirm that A is a girl again. She's said it at at least 3 appts, our last appt. at the other hospital confirmed it (and we have a three line picture), but she tried to look again and no dice. SO, I'm sure little A is a girl, but I came home and checked every u/s picture we have. :) The really good one she got a few appts ago we don't have a copy of, but I remember seeing the three lines on that one too. The reason it freaks me out a little is that we're about to tell our mothers/family at my shower next weekend what we're having. And if we say one of each, and then switch after, they might be disappointed. Not that they wouldn't love two boys too, but it's easier if we're still the only ones that know. Whatever. It will be fine. :)
The biggest news from our appointment: babies now have an eviction date! If they don't show up before then, they'll be making an appearance on March 16th. :) She called it a scheduled c-section date, but she's also talked induction in the past, so if they're positioned correctly I'm sure that's an option too.
So after a long week, we relaxed and did stuff around the house mostly this weekend, except for today, when we had our first class: Newborn Care! Mr. M seemed a little stressed/worried this last week about everything becoming real with the babies coming not all that long from now (officially less than 10 weeks!), but he said that the class today really helped. I think the more we learn about what we're supposed to be doing, the better we both feel. I'm sure we'll be just fine, but like he said, not knowing what you don't know can be the worst part of all, so after the class, we felt a lot better.
This coming week we have the start of our childbirth class and hospital tour. We got to see the babies in the nursery today, and they were adorable! I think getting pretty familiar with the hospital will be good too-- hospitals are uncomfortable places for both of us, so hanging out where we'll deliver will probably desensitize us a bit (I hope!).
This week also brought more movement from both babies! YAY! B has been wiggling more, and I just love feeling him move. Not that I don't love A too, but she moves all the time :) They're also big enough now that I can see my tummy move when they kick/punch, and when I get up from laying on a side, it's not uncommon to see a baby head/tush poking out somewhere! B isn't such a fan of me laying on my right side, and when I do he scoots towards the middle, so when I get up, there is typically a little head poking up in the middle of my tummy and empty room on the right. When I sit up, it's fun to feel as he slowly moves back down and to the right. I still have tons of pelvic pain when I stand up, roll over, etc. but am feeling great about where I'm at. To be 28 weeks with twins and not be on bedrest is a miracle, and we're thankful every day that my body and the babies hold up. Stay safe in there little guys! There's no way I would be doing this well if it wasn't for my wonderful husband who cleans, carries things, does laundry and chores, and encourages me to drink water and lay down. He's amazing. :)
Friday, December 31, 2010
what a freaking year.
A year ago I was in a bad place. A dark place. Finding it hard to see the light. We were battling IF, we didn't know what we were dealing with. I was trying to find hope but everywhere I turned things seemed to be falling apart. Work was changing and sucked. I felt unappreciated. Every test was a BFN. My LP was short. Even when we did everything right, we still couldn't get pregnant. I shut down. I didn't want to see people. I cried at the drop of a hat. I hope I never go back there again.
Jump to this NYE. We are SO blessed. Close to 27 weeks pregnant with twins. A boy and a girl. All that we could ever ask for. A marriage that is STRONGER because of the trials we faced. A husband I appreciate more and forgive any flaws because he is so strong and amazing and I would have fallen off the cliff if it wasn't for him this last year. And not just through the IF- through all of that, my surgery, and now all the ups, downs, cravings, aches, worries-- you name it. He's there. Being kind and caring, supporting me; supporting each other. And I know it's going to get harder before it gets better. But MAN am I lucky. With friends and family supporting us. Could. Not. Be. More. Blessed.
So, may 2011 bring healthy babies, sleep by July, and may the challenges and stress once again bring us closer. Here's to the coming best year so far!
Jump to this NYE. We are SO blessed. Close to 27 weeks pregnant with twins. A boy and a girl. All that we could ever ask for. A marriage that is STRONGER because of the trials we faced. A husband I appreciate more and forgive any flaws because he is so strong and amazing and I would have fallen off the cliff if it wasn't for him this last year. And not just through the IF- through all of that, my surgery, and now all the ups, downs, cravings, aches, worries-- you name it. He's there. Being kind and caring, supporting me; supporting each other. And I know it's going to get harder before it gets better. But MAN am I lucky. With friends and family supporting us. Could. Not. Be. More. Blessed.
So, may 2011 bring healthy babies, sleep by July, and may the challenges and stress once again bring us closer. Here's to the coming best year so far!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
24 weeks means... VIABILITY!
24 is one of those milestones I was waiting and waiting for. And today it's here! If babies came today, there would be a chance they would survive (with lots of NICU love). We hope and pray that they don't get any thoughts of vacating any time soon, but it's nice to know that if they did, there would be a shot at life.
This past week was crazy... I had a lot to do at work Mon-Wed and it seriously wore me out. This week, I also started getting contractions and swelling... yikes! It was no more than one contraction per day, and wasn't painful, but I could feel my stomach/uterus tighten up and get hard, and my heart would race. I had my appointment on Thursday, so they checked my urine for protein, cervix by u/s and internal, and luckily everything is okay. Braxton Hicks it is. :) It's a big reminder that I need to sit down, put my feet up and stop running around so much.
Babies looked great in our u/s- still girl/boy, weighing an estimated 1 lb 5 oz and 1 lb 6 oz respectively. Both had heartbeats in the 150s, and were wiggling around. We got another great shot of A, and B decided this time to have his legs over his head, so only good 2d profile shots. Oh well. :) Those weights are still good, but I have to admit that I haven't been packing the protein as much as I should. Lately nothing sounds good, and I have to make myself eat. I know I'm supposed to be really hungry all the time, but I'm just not. I'm hoping this week I can get back into the habit of breakfast - snack - lunch - snack - dinner.
This weekend we also accomplished all of our Christmas shopping in 2 hours! lights are up outside, presents are wrapped and Christmas cards are addressed. This coming week is going to be crazy... between work, Christmas parties and a packed-full weekend I don't know that we'll get much rest.
This past week was crazy... I had a lot to do at work Mon-Wed and it seriously wore me out. This week, I also started getting contractions and swelling... yikes! It was no more than one contraction per day, and wasn't painful, but I could feel my stomach/uterus tighten up and get hard, and my heart would race. I had my appointment on Thursday, so they checked my urine for protein, cervix by u/s and internal, and luckily everything is okay. Braxton Hicks it is. :) It's a big reminder that I need to sit down, put my feet up and stop running around so much.
Babies looked great in our u/s- still girl/boy, weighing an estimated 1 lb 5 oz and 1 lb 6 oz respectively. Both had heartbeats in the 150s, and were wiggling around. We got another great shot of A, and B decided this time to have his legs over his head, so only good 2d profile shots. Oh well. :) Those weights are still good, but I have to admit that I haven't been packing the protein as much as I should. Lately nothing sounds good, and I have to make myself eat. I know I'm supposed to be really hungry all the time, but I'm just not. I'm hoping this week I can get back into the habit of breakfast - snack - lunch - snack - dinner.
This weekend we also accomplished all of our Christmas shopping in 2 hours! lights are up outside, presents are wrapped and Christmas cards are addressed. This coming week is going to be crazy... between work, Christmas parties and a packed-full weekend I don't know that we'll get much rest.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
thankful
on this Thanksgiving (and every day, really) I am thankful for:
- an amazing supportive husband who loves and supports me
- these amazing little blessings we've been entrusted with
- when those little blessings kick and let me know they're doing okay
- that those little blessings are healthy, and for every doctor's appointment where they tell us that again
- a home that is safe, warm, and comfy
- jobs that pay the bills
- that my husband has found his passion and is so darn good at it
- family that is so supportive and generous and already loves our little girl and boy (even if they don't know that they're a girl and boy yet!)
- great friends
- and so much more....
Sunday, November 21, 2010
21!
No way are we at 21 weeks! I know I say that every week, but seriously. This is unreal.
This week we got bigger kicks, but babies are still evading daddy. I call Mr. M over every time there is a kicking fit, but the minute he puts his hand on my stomach they quit!! This morning, I'm pretty sure he felt one, but he said it was so light he wasn't sure. This week was mostly full of work for both of us, trying to get things done before Thanksgiving. We're both so ready for it!
This week/weekend we also:
Can't wait for Thanksgiving this week!
This week we got bigger kicks, but babies are still evading daddy. I call Mr. M over every time there is a kicking fit, but the minute he puts his hand on my stomach they quit!! This morning, I'm pretty sure he felt one, but he said it was so light he wasn't sure. This week was mostly full of work for both of us, trying to get things done before Thanksgiving. We're both so ready for it!
This week/weekend we also:
- assembled the dresser for the nursery
- got the crib mattresses
- did some cleaning and changing of the decor for Christmas
- waited with anticipation for the cribs... only to find out they won't be here until this week
Can't wait for Thanksgiving this week!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
19 weeks.
This week babies are 6" long and the size of a large tomato. No freakin way. I think everything has been a big blur for the last month or so. I'm very aware that I'm pregnant, what with the shooting back pain, pulled muscle in my inner thigh, and pelvic bone that feels like someone took a hammer to it, but I think we might be in the denial stage of things.
That said, we have made great strides... we picked out cribs and mattresses and pretty much figured out where everything will go in the nursery. I busted my rear this morning to finish cleaning out the nursery, and my mom is going to help me steam clean the carpet next weekend. After our u/s tomorrow (where we most importantly hopefully see healthy and happy babies, and maybe even confirm that B is a boy and find out what A is) we'll order furniture for the room. Mr. M has plans to paint the closet doors over Thanksgiving, and then we should be ready to rock and roll. There are lots of details left, but that will at least give us the essentials. :)
As usual, I'm a bit nervous about our u/s tomorrow. It will be great to get to see them, but I'm nervous that we'll be rushed through like last time (where we didn't get our full hour and all the measurements). I'm getting my full time come hell or high water tomorrow! I'm also nervous because I have a work trip coming up, and I'm really not sure it's in my or the babies best interest to take 3-hour flights and work 12 hour days to come back to a hotel, let alone haul luggage, etc. We'll see how tomorrow goes and I'll let the Dr. know what's been going on so we can make the best decision. The only thing that really matters tomorrow is seeing healthy little babies growing on track. If that's happening, I'm a happy mama!
I've been feeling more fetal movement lately-- in fact both babies are kicking away as I type this right now. So amazing. You still can't feel them on the outside, but I'm hoping that happens soon so Mr. M can enjoy this too. I'm sure in lots of ways it's great to be the guy in this situation (see all of the pain mentioned above) but I also think it would suck. It's such a miracle to have these little lives growing inside of me. I just love them so much already. SO very thankful for this blessing!!
My next mental milestone (6 weeks was one, then 12, then 14, then 16... don't ask me why... those are just the "benchmarks" I had in my head) is 20 weeks, soon followed by 24. I really think I'll feel like I can breathe easier at 24, knowing we've made it to viability. After that, 36. I would love to keep these babies in until 38 (as long as the doctor will let me go) but I think 36 marks my "not scary anymore" time. We want to do anything we can to make that happen.
Lots of stress in our household these last few weeks, and more to come. We're hoping tomorrow is a happy note that helps wash away some of the stress, and then we're on a mission to make it until Thanksgiving.
That said, we have made great strides... we picked out cribs and mattresses and pretty much figured out where everything will go in the nursery. I busted my rear this morning to finish cleaning out the nursery, and my mom is going to help me steam clean the carpet next weekend. After our u/s tomorrow (where we most importantly hopefully see healthy and happy babies, and maybe even confirm that B is a boy and find out what A is) we'll order furniture for the room. Mr. M has plans to paint the closet doors over Thanksgiving, and then we should be ready to rock and roll. There are lots of details left, but that will at least give us the essentials. :)
As usual, I'm a bit nervous about our u/s tomorrow. It will be great to get to see them, but I'm nervous that we'll be rushed through like last time (where we didn't get our full hour and all the measurements). I'm getting my full time come hell or high water tomorrow! I'm also nervous because I have a work trip coming up, and I'm really not sure it's in my or the babies best interest to take 3-hour flights and work 12 hour days to come back to a hotel, let alone haul luggage, etc. We'll see how tomorrow goes and I'll let the Dr. know what's been going on so we can make the best decision. The only thing that really matters tomorrow is seeing healthy little babies growing on track. If that's happening, I'm a happy mama!
I've been feeling more fetal movement lately-- in fact both babies are kicking away as I type this right now. So amazing. You still can't feel them on the outside, but I'm hoping that happens soon so Mr. M can enjoy this too. I'm sure in lots of ways it's great to be the guy in this situation (see all of the pain mentioned above) but I also think it would suck. It's such a miracle to have these little lives growing inside of me. I just love them so much already. SO very thankful for this blessing!!
My next mental milestone (6 weeks was one, then 12, then 14, then 16... don't ask me why... those are just the "benchmarks" I had in my head) is 20 weeks, soon followed by 24. I really think I'll feel like I can breathe easier at 24, knowing we've made it to viability. After that, 36. I would love to keep these babies in until 38 (as long as the doctor will let me go) but I think 36 marks my "not scary anymore" time. We want to do anything we can to make that happen.
Lots of stress in our household these last few weeks, and more to come. We're hoping tomorrow is a happy note that helps wash away some of the stress, and then we're on a mission to make it until Thanksgiving.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
15 week appt. (10.11.10)
So this past Monday was our 15 week appointment. We got a little shortchanged on our u/s as it was booked for an hour and we only got a half-hour. The tech made sure we were booked for a full hour next time for our anatomy scan.
The great news is that both babies look wonderful! We want to find out the babies' sexes, but won't tell anyone IRL, so when she asked if we would like for her to take a guess, we said YES! Looks like B is pretty clearly a boy! A is still unknown-- she said she thinks it may be a girl, but she couldn't get a good view. We'll see at our next appt. Cervix is in good position, weight gain is about 11 lbs, and heart rates are good. Can't wait until our next appointment at 19 weeks!
The great news is that both babies look wonderful! We want to find out the babies' sexes, but won't tell anyone IRL, so when she asked if we would like for her to take a guess, we said YES! Looks like B is pretty clearly a boy! A is still unknown-- she said she thinks it may be a girl, but she couldn't get a good view. We'll see at our next appt. Cervix is in good position, weight gain is about 11 lbs, and heart rates are good. Can't wait until our next appointment at 19 weeks!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
14 weeks.
Holy crap! We made it to the 2nd trimester!!
Nausea is starting to get better, but the heartburn is kicking in. It seems like I'll have a good day and then a bad day. I've actually thrown up more in the last two weeks than I did the whole rest of the 1st Tri! I've gotten more of an appetite back, though, and don't have as many aversions. It's a nice thing. :) My tummy now totally looks like a bump-- so much better than the extra chunky look I've been sporting for the last few weeks. I've also officially given up regular pants, and my tummy thanks me for it. :)
It's really fall now! The temps are cold, and this weekend I swapped out all of my clothes. A lot got packed away until next year, but I was surprised to realize that a lot of my regular fall and winter clothes will likely get me through most of the fall. YAY! I kept joking that I would have four things in my closet after I swapped the clothes out, and while I'm down to three pairs of work pants and one pair of jeans, I have a ton of tops and sweaters. This weekend I also bought my first pair of maternity tights! I have two maternity dresses, and when I wanted to wear one last week, I realized that I didn't have any tights... I ended up finding up one big pair without control top that worked... barely. It's amazing how good it feels to have clothes that fit.
This past week we also shared our news with our extended families. We're now completely "out," other than Facebook. Our sisters are driving me crazy because they are upset that they can't post on FB about the babies yet, and don't get AT ALL that it's our news to share and we will choose when to share it. They can tell anyone they want in person; we just don't want that news all over the internet yet. Anyway, we called our grandparents on Wednesday night, and they were all happy to hear the news. My dad's parents were the most excited-- these will be their first great grandchildren. My grandma politely asked if she could tell my aunt, and I told her she could tell whoever she wanted. News spread through the family pretty quickly after that. ;) So much fun! We also sent an email sharing our news with Mr. M's family that went on our trip with us. We got tons of emails back, thrilled to learn there were a couple of stowaways on the trip.
This coming week is a bit crazy... lots of work, Mr.M has a big week with his job as well, and next weekend we're going on a bit of a road trip... we'll see how that goes. :) A week from Monday, we get to see the bambinos again when we go in for our 16 w (15w1d) appointment. Can't wait! We listened to their little heartbeats last night with the doppler-- it's the best sound in the world. We may even get to find out what we're having! At our NT scan, the tech guessed that B was a boy, but it was pretty early to tell... I think it will be more real once we know :)
Nausea is starting to get better, but the heartburn is kicking in. It seems like I'll have a good day and then a bad day. I've actually thrown up more in the last two weeks than I did the whole rest of the 1st Tri! I've gotten more of an appetite back, though, and don't have as many aversions. It's a nice thing. :) My tummy now totally looks like a bump-- so much better than the extra chunky look I've been sporting for the last few weeks. I've also officially given up regular pants, and my tummy thanks me for it. :)
It's really fall now! The temps are cold, and this weekend I swapped out all of my clothes. A lot got packed away until next year, but I was surprised to realize that a lot of my regular fall and winter clothes will likely get me through most of the fall. YAY! I kept joking that I would have four things in my closet after I swapped the clothes out, and while I'm down to three pairs of work pants and one pair of jeans, I have a ton of tops and sweaters. This weekend I also bought my first pair of maternity tights! I have two maternity dresses, and when I wanted to wear one last week, I realized that I didn't have any tights... I ended up finding up one big pair without control top that worked... barely. It's amazing how good it feels to have clothes that fit.
This past week we also shared our news with our extended families. We're now completely "out," other than Facebook. Our sisters are driving me crazy because they are upset that they can't post on FB about the babies yet, and don't get AT ALL that it's our news to share and we will choose when to share it. They can tell anyone they want in person; we just don't want that news all over the internet yet. Anyway, we called our grandparents on Wednesday night, and they were all happy to hear the news. My dad's parents were the most excited-- these will be their first great grandchildren. My grandma politely asked if she could tell my aunt, and I told her she could tell whoever she wanted. News spread through the family pretty quickly after that. ;) So much fun! We also sent an email sharing our news with Mr. M's family that went on our trip with us. We got tons of emails back, thrilled to learn there were a couple of stowaways on the trip.
This coming week is a bit crazy... lots of work, Mr.M has a big week with his job as well, and next weekend we're going on a bit of a road trip... we'll see how that goes. :) A week from Monday, we get to see the bambinos again when we go in for our 16 w (15w1d) appointment. Can't wait! We listened to their little heartbeats last night with the doppler-- it's the best sound in the world. We may even get to find out what we're having! At our NT scan, the tech guessed that B was a boy, but it was pretty early to tell... I think it will be more real once we know :)
Monday, September 6, 2010
heartbeat!
Labor day seems a fitting time to FINALLY FIND A HEARTBEAT WITH THE DOPPLER!!
Yes, I'm crazy. Yes, I bought a doppler. What?
It came in the mail when I was 8 weeks-ish, and the first many tries resulted in finding nothing other than my own heartbeat. :( I know it's been (and still is) on the early end, but I was hoping that with two, and a bigger uterus, maybe they would have moved up enough. We tried again last week, hoping to hear them before we told my parents, and no luck.
This morning I wake up and feel great. It's been a long time since that happened! I worked out, threw in a load of laundry, cooked eggs for breakfast and ate them (!), vacuumed the house, baked cookies... too good to be true... so I figured I would give the doppler another shot.
After a couple of minutes searching, Mr. M came out to join me in the hunt. And a couple minutes later... WE FOUND ONE!!!! :) The doppler isn't super-awesome at locking in on one reading for a heartbeat, but it was 160-ish. :) We searched for a little while longer, and heard what sounded similar to the "fetal movement" sounds I heard online, so that might have been the other one... We'll give it a few more days and try again.
YAY!
Yes, I'm crazy. Yes, I bought a doppler. What?
It came in the mail when I was 8 weeks-ish, and the first many tries resulted in finding nothing other than my own heartbeat. :( I know it's been (and still is) on the early end, but I was hoping that with two, and a bigger uterus, maybe they would have moved up enough. We tried again last week, hoping to hear them before we told my parents, and no luck.
This morning I wake up and feel great. It's been a long time since that happened! I worked out, threw in a load of laundry, cooked eggs for breakfast and ate them (!), vacuumed the house, baked cookies... too good to be true... so I figured I would give the doppler another shot.
After a couple of minutes searching, Mr. M came out to join me in the hunt. And a couple minutes later... WE FOUND ONE!!!! :) The doppler isn't super-awesome at locking in on one reading for a heartbeat, but it was 160-ish. :) We searched for a little while longer, and heard what sounded similar to the "fetal movement" sounds I heard online, so that might have been the other one... We'll give it a few more days and try again.
YAY!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
oh baby, bab(ies)
I've been freaking out for the last two days... my symptoms all seemed to fade, if not stop. Nausea? gone. Boobs hurting? gone. Face? clearing up. Last night, I barely slept, worrying about everything. I decided I had to call and at least try to get in early for my appointment. (It was set for the 31st- just shy of two weeks from now.) When I called, I got my favorite nurse, who was super-sweet. I asked if they even had 5 minutes to squeeze me in. She asked when my appointment was scheduled for, and I told her. Her response was "No it's not. We're getting you in today!" Love her.
Mr. M came and picked me up from work-- I was suddenly nauseous and freaking out. We went back, hoping to just see a little heart beat hanging in there... and saw TWO! IT'S TWINS!!!
I think both of us just paused for a minute and couldn't move. Amazing. Incredible. God answered our prayers so much more than we ever expected. Two blessed babies, measuring 7w1d and 7w3d (I'm 7w4d today, so perfect) and with heartbeats at 154 and 160 (again, perfect). Thrilling. Shocking. Ohmygod we're going to need two of everything!! Who cares. What a blessing.
We're shocked and thrilled and everything in between.
Little babies, we prayed for you, and asked God to bless us with just one, and what do you know, he thought we were fit to be parents to two. Everything we went through was so very very worth it. And you know how I know it was God? She found the corpeus luteum (?) on the right ovary. That's right. The side where "endo has attached the tube to the wall and it's kinked shut like a garden hose." The one "we don't expect to work." The one "you'll need a specialist to take care of." Yup. It's a miracle. We promise to love and care for you, little ones, like the blessings you are.
Incredible.
7w4d pregnant... with TWINS!
Mr. M came and picked me up from work-- I was suddenly nauseous and freaking out. We went back, hoping to just see a little heart beat hanging in there... and saw TWO! IT'S TWINS!!!
I think both of us just paused for a minute and couldn't move. Amazing. Incredible. God answered our prayers so much more than we ever expected. Two blessed babies, measuring 7w1d and 7w3d (I'm 7w4d today, so perfect) and with heartbeats at 154 and 160 (again, perfect). Thrilling. Shocking. Ohmygod we're going to need two of everything!! Who cares. What a blessing.
We're shocked and thrilled and everything in between.
Little babies, we prayed for you, and asked God to bless us with just one, and what do you know, he thought we were fit to be parents to two. Everything we went through was so very very worth it. And you know how I know it was God? She found the corpeus luteum (?) on the right ovary. That's right. The side where "endo has attached the tube to the wall and it's kinked shut like a garden hose." The one "we don't expect to work." The one "you'll need a specialist to take care of." Yup. It's a miracle. We promise to love and care for you, little ones, like the blessings you are.
Incredible.
7w4d pregnant... with TWINS!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
7 weeks
Early this past week, I was starting to wonder if I was still pregnant. I think that's pretty normal... especially when you have twinges/tiny sporadic cramps and no symptoms. But by this weekend, it was clear. My boobs hurt so bad I kept waking up in the middle of the night when I tried to roll on my stomach. I'm having food cravings. And if I don't eat every 2-3 hours, I get headaches and feel sick. Plus I had my first real (not just from brushing my teeth) gagging fits... over nothing.
As much as these symptoms might not always be described as "fun," I'm so very thankful for them. Thanks, little blueberry, for letting me know you're growing in there. Keep it up!
I was planning on working from home the day of our first ultrasound, but a meeting came up that I have to go in for. Good thing it's in the morning, and I can spend the rest of the afternoon (though still working...) with Mr. M. 16 days (including a 3-day work trip) to go until we (please God!!) hear a heartbeat! I can't wait to see this little baby!
As much as these symptoms might not always be described as "fun," I'm so very thankful for them. Thanks, little blueberry, for letting me know you're growing in there. Keep it up!
I was planning on working from home the day of our first ultrasound, but a meeting came up that I have to go in for. Good thing it's in the morning, and I can spend the rest of the afternoon (though still working...) with Mr. M. 16 days (including a 3-day work trip) to go until we (please God!!) hear a heartbeat! I can't wait to see this little baby!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
6 weeks
First, let's play catch up:
- Got numbers back on Monday the 26th. From when I had bloodwork done on Friday (11dpo) - hCG 49, Progesterone 50. Definitely pregnant. Nurse said Progesterone is rockin', and though she said she couldn't guarantee, she felt like that number was a good sign baby isn't etopic. WOOT.
- Immediately asked if I could get another hCG to make sure my beta was doubling. She was all over it, so I went in and had blood drawn again. Especially since we were leaving Tuesday night to go out of the country, I wanted some numbers to make me feel better. Nurse said she wanted to see over 150.
- Oh yeah, and later that night I started spotting.
- Tuesday morning, I got the call: Monday's bloodwork (14 dpo)- hCG 200. I guess I really am pregnant.
- Had lots of conversation with the nurse about spotting (brown and very little pink). No cramping with it. Still freaking me out
- Spotting stops. I go on vacation full of: sleeplessness, not eating at regular times, bouncy/windy car rides on the left side of the road, not drinking enough water, not being able to pee when I need to. Lots of general stress. Many crying fits with my husband, worried that all of this craziness can't be good for the baby.
- Symptoms (or just from all of the above craziness): nausea (better when I eat more often), sore boobs, face breaking out, bloating, having to pee all the time. YAY! Because I am neurotic, I bring a good 10 pregnancy tests with me so I can keep testing to make sure the line gets darker. Got to the point where it was super-dark and couldn't get darker. Decided I'm insane. But it made me feel better.
- Through all of this, Mr. M was FABULOUS. Willing to stay back with me if I needed a nap or felt sick or wanted to come home early, even though I made him go a lot. And genuine about it too. Not just "I'm offering because I'm supposed to" -- it was legit. What a wonderful, wonderful man I married.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
baby, you're amazing.
So, yesterday was CD1. A disappointing day, at best, most months. But I actually held it together yesterday. I don't know if it's the next test coming up giving me hope, or what, but I'm trying to think on the bright side. Well, that and the dropping temps and cramps for the last week tipped me off. :)
I think what really helped is that yesterday was when we decided to celebrate my upcoming birthday. It's the big 2-8. Normally birthdays don't phase me. Heck, half the time, I can't even remember how old I am. But that is my "have babies" age. I know that's silly. For some reason (I'm a planner) in my head, 25 was always my "get married" age (actually got married at 24) and 28 sounded perfect to start a family... and we have 4 more months to make that a reality. Yikes. It's not that I'm stuck on that age, it's just another one of those milestones that make you think "hmmm... how much longer is this going to take!" Kind of like hitting month 10 and thinking "if things had worked on the first try, we could be having a kid any minute." I'm trying not to dwell on these things, and I'm sure everyone else (who hasn't been through this) thinks it's a lot of negative thinking, but you can't help but notice those milestones.
So- with all of that, why did yesterday help? I had an AMAZING romantic dinner with my husband, and then a decadent dessert at a chocolate bar. And it was nice to just go out on the town and have some fun. Just the two of us. And the 8-hr tyl*enol and couple glasses of wine didn't hurt either. My husband is AWESOME. :)
Today is also Easter. And it's making me also think of my trip to Target on Friday, seeing lots of moms pick up Easter basket goodies for their kids. And hoping that next year, I'm doing the same thing.
I think what really helped is that yesterday was when we decided to celebrate my upcoming birthday. It's the big 2-8. Normally birthdays don't phase me. Heck, half the time, I can't even remember how old I am. But that is my "have babies" age. I know that's silly. For some reason (I'm a planner) in my head, 25 was always my "get married" age (actually got married at 24) and 28 sounded perfect to start a family... and we have 4 more months to make that a reality. Yikes. It's not that I'm stuck on that age, it's just another one of those milestones that make you think "hmmm... how much longer is this going to take!" Kind of like hitting month 10 and thinking "if things had worked on the first try, we could be having a kid any minute." I'm trying not to dwell on these things, and I'm sure everyone else (who hasn't been through this) thinks it's a lot of negative thinking, but you can't help but notice those milestones.
So- with all of that, why did yesterday help? I had an AMAZING romantic dinner with my husband, and then a decadent dessert at a chocolate bar. And it was nice to just go out on the town and have some fun. Just the two of us. And the 8-hr tyl*enol and couple glasses of wine didn't hurt either. My husband is AWESOME. :)
Today is also Easter. And it's making me also think of my trip to Target on Friday, seeing lots of moms pick up Easter basket goodies for their kids. And hoping that next year, I'm doing the same thing.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
a different take on things
so today I was thinking about how I felt yesterday. and I didn't like it. I was able to be a part of several conversations with my coworkers today that centered on babies and my coworker's pregnancy and be truly happy for her. and to me that was a great relief. as I was walking to a meeting after one of these conversations, I started thinking about another friend/former coworker who went through IF. yesterday on her blog, she posted a link to a devotional that she felt was a good one for those going through IF, and even though I'm not a big scripture person, I thought I'd check it out. it was about the wait. and god's timing. and that keeping faith during that wait keeps you protected. and that in the end, god has perfect timing. I want to believe that's right. and then on my post-work treadmill jaunt today, I turned on O*prah, who happened to have J*enn*a Ja*mi*son on as a guest. and guess what. it took her 10 years to get pregnant.
I keep hearing more and more stories of those who didn't have the easiest route to getting pregnant. I don't know if it's just that I'm hearing more because I'm more aware of IF now, but I'd like to think they're signs. signs to be patient. signs to keep hoping. signs that it WILL happen for us.
and so today, as I walked to that meeting, I decided to try to focus on this as a time to prepare for a child. a time to be as ready as we can and focus on how loved this child will be when it's time. I can't promise I will be able to stay focused on this, but I'm hoping to try. because our future children are wanted with all of our hearts.
I also feel there is some truth in speaking things into being and that what you focus on most is what you get more of. and I've been working against that for the last, oh, 7 or 8 months. so it's time to try to retrain our focus. and not allow the worry and the stress to take the lead. but try to keep the hope, and our love for one another and our desire to have children, and anticipation for the day that WILL come for us in the forefront.
and my hope is that next cycle I can say, well, this isn't it, but we're one month closer to meeting our child.
I keep hearing more and more stories of those who didn't have the easiest route to getting pregnant. I don't know if it's just that I'm hearing more because I'm more aware of IF now, but I'd like to think they're signs. signs to be patient. signs to keep hoping. signs that it WILL happen for us.
and so today, as I walked to that meeting, I decided to try to focus on this as a time to prepare for a child. a time to be as ready as we can and focus on how loved this child will be when it's time. I can't promise I will be able to stay focused on this, but I'm hoping to try. because our future children are wanted with all of our hearts.
I also feel there is some truth in speaking things into being and that what you focus on most is what you get more of. and I've been working against that for the last, oh, 7 or 8 months. so it's time to try to retrain our focus. and not allow the worry and the stress to take the lead. but try to keep the hope, and our love for one another and our desire to have children, and anticipation for the day that WILL come for us in the forefront.
and my hope is that next cycle I can say, well, this isn't it, but we're one month closer to meeting our child.
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