month 5 update

So I'm 12 dpo today. I can't even tell you the last time I saw 12 dpo. I was thrilled last month when I barely made 11. So YEAH that my LP is getting to be a normal length! Big pink puffy heart for B6.

But. I waitedandwaitedandwaited to test. And waited some more. We were out of town all weekend, and I didn't even let myself bring a test. I did, however bring massive amounts of tampons. You know, psych AF out with reverse psychology kind of stuff. You would not believe, however the number of times I squished my boobs hoping they'd be sore.

This morning: BFN. And a temp drop. No AF yet, but I'd be willing to bet she's a-comin. No cramps yet, just a backache.

How do I feel? Well normally at this point each month, I sob uncontrollably and mope for a couple of days. Today? Eh. I convinced myself it wouldn't happen this cycle already. So low expectations = not such a dramatic reaction, right? Still bummed, but hopeful that maybe I'll get a BFP to ring in the new year.

Also, there's an upside. (Gotta learn to see the silver lining, right?) We have the opportunity for another Europe trip next summer with the in-laws in August. So, if it doesn't happen by February or so, we get to go to Europe. That'll be my third year in a row-- how awesome! Also, my OBGYN appointment is in February, so another month of no BFP is a month closer to starting to figure out what is going wrong.

And so we march on to Month 6...