I feel her.

So. In a fit of got-my-period-life-sucks-crying-and-nausea, I needed a pick me up. Mr. M headed off to watch football, and I declined to join him... I'm just kind of a wet blanket today.

To make things better, I figured some time on the couch with an on-demand treat: Julie and Julia. Being a big blog reader, I wanted to see it when it came out, but hadn't ever. And since I was sans-husband, I figured why not. No one to duke it out with over which movie to rent. ;)

And wow. I feel Julie. Though I hear now, she's divorced, just wrote another book, and it's not all like what was in the movie. But I'm there. Bored. Ready for a life change. I thought that would be having children. Turns out you can't just make that one happen. So while we're still working on that goal, I need to figure something else out.

You know that whole work and life can't be bad at once or you're screwed thing I mentioned? Lately, mine has been both. I'm thrilled I have Mr. M on this journey-- I wouldn't make it without him. But now, I need some sort of change. Changing jobs isn't in the cards right now... so that's my new mission: Figure out what to do for some change around here.

Hopes for 2010:

• Get finances in order.
  
• Get healthy. We both have done well this last year, but it's really important we do that.
• Find a passion. Mr. M is lucky enough to know his and be making a career out of it. I need something to be passionate about.
• Become a parent. Mr. M is good about reminding me, even on the dark days, that it's so very important that we keep hope. And I think that's why I need a passion. I was set on my passion being my child. And someday, it will be. But at this very moment, it can't be. And I need something to distract my very impatient self while I wait for that passion to become a reality.

Doing what I do, I really should have SMARTer goals, but I'm good with these. Let's see how it goes...